My Darling Husband

I love my husband. Oh. So. Much. Really I do. We often think the same thoughts at the same time, which is fun. His attitudes, insights, and approaches to things have really helped me balance a lot of my crazy. He is absolutely the yin to my yang.

I have always been a lazy procrastinator. My deadly sin of choice is idleness, always has been. Jeff? Has an incredible work ethic. When I met his old employer and long-time friend Norm, he told me the story of Jeff's first day. Norm told Jeff to go get something. Jeff dropped off the ladder, ran to get it, and zipped back up the ladder. Norm just knew that would last for a day, maybe a week. "But," he told me "he's been doing it ever since. " He then proceeded to tell me that Jeff would be an excellent provider. He has been. In fact when he got a call just the other night from an entrepreneur friend he told him straight up that he would not be able to help him build his website. He'd consult but he wasn't going to sacrifice his families security to start chasing a million dollar idea. Since I like the security myself and have no desire to shake things up, I was grinning from ear to ear while listening to his end of the conversation. I'd probably have hemmed and hawed and have had a much harder time saying no. (It always takes me longer to think of the reason why I shouldn't do something)

I have a tendency to worry myself to pieces about how I will ever get something done. Jeff's attitude? Just DO it. It's rubbing off some, and today I got my entire upstairs vacuumed. That has not ever happened before, definitely not all at once. The upstairs hasn't looked this decent since we moved in. That is definitely embarrassing to admit. But it happened because I took it in baby steps, got a little help, and just did it. I'm especially impressed with myself because what would usually feel like a 'big job' to me, that would have to wait until Jeff was home to help, wasn't. It probably has a lot to do with the fact that my kids are getting to the point that they help. I mentioned that I wanted to vacuum the whole upstairs today and Abby picked up her room so I could. Jeff and I had already tackled the very intimidating months and months of clutter in our room, so that was easy. The hardest part was keeping Harvey on task to put away his toys. It would be easier to do it myself. Easier, not smarter. Didn't hurt any that Willie likes the vacuum now and I don't have to hold him the whole time. Back to Jeff

Jeff is very insightful. Over the years he has observed that if I (or Abby, or any Stewart), is having a break down chances are excellent we need dinner and maybe a nap. Yes, food actually makes it better. It's amazing how much brighter the sky seems when one's blood sugar levels are normal. More recently he noted that the women in my immediate family HAVE to be heard. We don't really care if you agree with us or not, just shut up and listen for 2 minutes. This can be problematic when my sister, my mother, and I, all feel the need to be heard at once. It's not that we shout over the top of each other, rather we get terribly upset that we aren't being listened to, and all end up in tears and angry. He thinks we should just take turns, and remember to listen in our turn. Isn't he smart?? Thanks to his insights I feel a lot more prepared to cope with my own crazies. He knows me, he knows me better than I know my own self. My wonderful darling husband. Whatever would I do without him? (That is entirely a rhetorical question because I don't want to think about it, much less answer it!)

Reflections and Looking Forward to 2010

It's a New Year again. A good time to look at our lives and see what we want to change. I've looked back at 2009 some, and I think it was an amazing year. I made progress on many resolutions, both typical and personal. I'm 30 pounds lighter than I was a year ago. I speak more softly more often to my children. I finally gave a Book of Mormon to a friend (I've wanted to do it for 8 years). I have drawn closer to my Savior and am trying to be like Him. Really, I don't have any big changes I'd like to make. Lots of improving in lots of areas, but no huge changes. I do have one Wish for 2010 for myself, but even if that doesn't happen, then I have plenty to do to keep me occupied. This year all I really want to do is grow, improve, strengthen. My home, my family, and myself. For Home I need to better use my time. Less Facebook, less blog following, less dinking around. There are many things I can improve on but I'm going to be focusing on managing my time better. For Family I want to continue to soften my tone, and to cheer up more often too. I scold and worry too much. For Myself- Strength training. My back is hurting me again after missing so much gym time, and it is high time for the Saggy Baggy Elephant Skin to disappear, or at least shrink a little. Do I'd like to become more constructive, more tempered, and stronger. Written down like that it seems a lot harder than it feels inside myself. I'm not going to be tackling all of this with a renewed vengeance this month. Rather these are things I've already been working on, and am just going to keep on working on. There are myriad other little things that I'm working on too, and don't plan on stopping. Life is a work in progress.

2009 in Review

( I know it's already 2010, let's just face the fact that I'm a procrastinator, shall we?)

January- Life well lived. Willie turned 5 months old, and I gave up on him sleeping in his own bed. Co-sleeping was the order of the day, er, night.

February- Harvey turned 3 years old. I told myself that if he wasn't potty trained by the time Abby started school, then I'd buckle down and make him. We set a goal to read the Book of Mormon every night, then go to the Zoo when we finished. Willie cut his first tooth, then cuts me with it. (Wow oh OW)

March- Honestly? I don't remember. Procrastination of helping little sisters with wedding plans probably. Oh yes! Kindergarten registration, my world is going to change rapidly here isn't it? Willie is still hopelessly gagging on food that isn't from a jar, I can't get it smooth enough. He doesn't like to be fed either.

April- We got to go to Irene's graduation, stay with Mike and Helen, and meet Aidyn (my brothers baby) Best part was holding both babies in my arms and loving every second. My mother warned me that God may see that and think it looked like a good idea (two babies). I didn't say it aloud- but thought to myself 'Oh, I HOPE so!' They were terribly sweet to hold and cuddle.

May- Ack! Run for cover!! We've lost our minds. 2 family weddings, including full fancy garb for children(my attempts at getting them to choose the same colors failed). Puppy. Baby starts to crawl(and discovers finger foods too). Mini-van and loan. Garden. Harvey decides that diapers and pull-ups are miserable and that he wants to wear underpants. For this he will gladly use the potty now. Life is a wonderful, beautiful chaos of love and prosperity and general great blessings.

June- a little bit quieter. Thanks to the addition of a dog I get to deal with double doses of potty training and crawling at the same time. Jeff and I celebrate our 7th anniversary rather quietly. I get to go to Logan with my Mom for a cousins wedding. We piled all 8 people into my new minivan and it was a great time for all I think.

July- Camping!! Jeff and I piled the kids, the dog, and much gear into the van (oh we felt like such masters of packing- every inch was well used) and went to Panguitch Lake for the 4th of July. We got rained on, we explored, we cooked on the fire. It was SO fun. The only bad thing was we forgot our air mattress, and sleeping on my side to hold the baby became incredibly uncomfortable. I was quite bruised up from it. But we got to go to church in our blue-jeans, drive to Brian Head for fireworks, Panguitch for some indoor carnival activities, see friends from our childhood ward. Really fun, it's going to happen again this year. With an air mattress. After coming home we started teaching Willie to sleep in his own bed.

August- Willie turned one! Not walking yet, but he's a laid back fun baby. We had a fun outdoor family party, and he preferred the ice cream over his cute cake. Abby was evaluated for Kindergarten. The only thing she didn't pass with flying colors was recognizing her name. Because they used Abigail instead of Abby. We go to the Gifford Reunion, and enjoyed being back. We missed the previous year with a new baby, and this time missed 2 brothers expecting their new babies. Welcome to baby Ellie and congrats to Matt and Leigh on becoming parents

September- Abby's first day of SCHOOL. Oh my. She was completely in love with every aspect of school. We get to have her cousin Paige visit twice a week and they have a blast together. I adjust to the schedule. Harvey wishes he could go to school too. We get the van paid off (Jeff worked really hard to do so) Welcome to baby Bradley and congrats to Mike and Helen on becoming parents.

October- Conference, crisp fall air. I celebrated my 27th birthday with my family and favorite food. We finished the Book of Mormon and went to the Hogle Zoo. Where there were probably 50 new babies. The cutest of which was the Elephant, and the meerkats. Oh yes then I did home-made Halloween Costumes. Willie is walking by this point, and those little toddling steps are precious.

November- Abby turned 6 years old and got the biggest present we've ever done. Too big to wrap. We moved Willie and all of the storage out of the small bedroom, painted it pink, and moved Abby in. A neighbor did her name in vinyl for the wall, her Aunt made a big magnet board, and we also painted her chest of drawers and some DI frames to match. She got the bassinet to keep her stuffed animals in, and we framed up some pictures of kittens. She is totally in love with it. Jeff and I brined a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner and enjoyed it at my grandparents.

December- Willie is finally starting to consistently label things(me and the desire to eat). He tells the dog to sit, and says and signs please when reminded. Christmas is badly procrastinated. Jeff's bosses buy us cruise tickets because 'It's the only way I can get him to stop working, and if he keeps working like this he'll burn himself out. Then where will I be?' I love his employers, they appreciate my husband as much as I do. Christmas happens. Santa brought the family some pillows, a flat screen TV, blu-ray player, and entertainment center. (Black Friday is Santa's friend here, and the others were all DYING) The get everything on their list. OK, Harvey does. But Abby is loving the Barbies too. We visit with family, which is my favorite part. Then we host a New Years Eve bash, which ends early. I talked Jeff into staying up until 12, then we all slept in until 8.

Oh wait, that was this year.

Called

Today has given me much opportunity to reflect on what it means to be Called of God. Called to Serve. We had a missionary farewell in church today, the oldest son of a friend and fellow blogger will be entering the Missionary Training Center this Wednesday. We also had a special fast in our ward, for a very recently returned missionary. He has just been diagnosed with bone cancer. The Bishop had forgotten to return his missionary plaque earlier, and so did it today. Two missionaries, two callings. One is just getting ready to go, another has served faithfully for 2 years, and now faces the biggest trial in his life. I know Heavenly Father has a purpose for both of them, and will continue watching over this young man in his great trial, he is not forgotten. In addition to the missionary calls, I am reflecting on the call I've been given. I am the visiting teacher to the mother of the young man with cancer. How can I serve her?? What can I do?? It isn't often that a special need in the ward falls under my personal responsibility. But in this case it does. I've been asked to be one of the people that she can call on, that will step in and help her when needed. This isn't a random assignment, it comes from Heavenly Father. I have been a bit intimidated by being called to serve her already, she has much more experience than I do. Now, it is really time for me to step up, get out of my comfort zone, and stretch my abilities. I know that I will have help from the Spirit when I do. Meanwhile, I'll be praying, and listening. If you have a moment, will you please pray for both of these young men and their mothers??

Christmas Spirit

Well last month was fun, counting blessings. This month I'd really like to get more in the Spirit of Christmas. This means I will not have time to blog daily. But I'll try and post weekly at least. So far for the month of December we have 2 advent calendars, and 2 nightly stories to be read. One calendar is a wooden Christmas tree the kids helped me decorate with buttons. It currently says "22 days 'til Christmas" The numbers are interchangeable. I got it at a Super Saturday with my mom, but I think mine is the only one decorated on 2 sides. The other advent calendar is from the Friend magazine. Our stories are a Christmas story book put together by my mother in law for us, with some of the standard stories, and a gift from the primary to Abby which guides us to read stories of Jesus from the scriptures every night, also an advent calendar of sorts. We are going to be decorating this weekend, so my primary goals right now are to get cleaned up so we can. I'm looking forward to reading stories from the Ensign and Friend. Christmas stories are one of my favorite things about the season. Along with the movies and music. I'm soaking it all in, and doing my best not to stress about what I haven't done yet. What are you doing to welcome Christmas in your home??

Tradition! Tradition!

29- I am blessed with Tradition. Thanksgiving traditions abound in the family I sprouted from. Thanksgiving is the biggest holiday in our family. I think it stems from generations of good-pie-bakers. Not fancy bakers, just really good ones. My dad took a room-mate home to his Grandmother's for Thanksgiving one year. The roommate was concerned that he might be intruding, or that there might not be enough food (??????) or something. My dad assured him there would be at least 30 pies. Roommate doubted, roommate repented of doubt. There is generally an open-door policy at all Stewart feasts, which is anything Grandma puts on, it's all a feast. But Thanksgiving is still special. Aunts fill brown bags with treats and toys, Uncles hide said bags all over property (in most absurd hard to find places), and cousins make the great search for the bag with your own name on it. And get a good laugh at the cousin who has to climb up a pole to retrieve his/her bag. Some years have brought sugar cookies but in the shape of pilgrims to be painted with colored milk by kids. There have been plenty of football games on the large back-lawn. Many years have brought late nights of board games while feasting on pie. One year, the boy cousins took a bunch of pies out to the trailer they were staying in and polished them off on their own. The funniest part? No one missed the pies, there were plenty more. In a large (very very large) family, everyone has their own specialty, and when many hands pitch in, the load is lightened and the feast is amazing. Turkey, pan gravy, potatoes, rolls, cornbread dressing. Rainbow Jello, green salad, sweet potatoes, green-bean casserole, some-other jello, fruit salad, fruity-sugary-yummy drink concoction. Pie, pie, pie, more pie. They all come together so beautifully on our giant plates. But don't fill them too full. 'Take all you want, but eat all you take' (or else) says Grandpa. No worries, there should be a nice handful of teenage boys to help you out when your eyes are bigger than your stomach. This year, things weren't quite the same. Not as many people gathered together, and while we tried to make up for it, they were missed. The food was still good, but no Rainbow Jello procured itself. No pilgrim cookies. We even had to sneak the kids leftovers to the trash, because there was a decided lack of boys to finish it off. I really did not do my mom's rolls justice either. Unfortunately, it is a simple fact of life. We are growing up. It's hard enough to get together 11 households. (or even just half of them) but now that cousins are moving out, getting married, having kids, it's nigh unto impossible. My marvelous Aunts and Uncles are probably just as grateful as my parents are when they can get the kids back to their own homes, to say nothing of Grandma's house. But the traditions are still there, waiting for us to carry them out in our own ways, with our own children. I have a lot to learn before I can make a holiday run as smoothly as my Aunt PhyllisAnn can. I'll probably never pull it off, but I can take the most important parts, and create a wonderful Thanksgiving for my own family.

30- I am grateful for my extended family, and all they are. oxoxoxoxoxoxo(((HUGS))) to all of you. And Tyler, I'm gonna tackle you with my biggest one, just for old times sake.

Counting THANKSGIVING

26- Pie

27-Rolls

28- Turkey

'Nuff said.