2.28.2009
Dating, Love, Marriage
Marriage is ordained of God between a man and a woman. Love is not an emotion, love is a commitment. Love is work. There are a great many wonderful scriptures regarding what love and marriage really are. I'm not a scriptorian, so I'm not going to list them here. Why marriage between man and woman? Because marriage is not about this life, it is not about today, it is about eternity. It is about putting aside self, and becoming one unit to achieve a higher goal than is possible alone. That goal is family. Jeff and I obviously have the family thing underway- see above photo of 3 squirrelly kids. But marriage is not just about raising the kids either. In the last few months, or maybe the last whole year- with pregnancy, getting ready for baby, taking care of baby, etc I have been feeling internally torn. I want to spend time with my husband, I want to build my relationship with him. But after the day is done, the kids are taken care of, and everything else- there is not much left for US. Or that is how it felt. After trying on my own, I started including in my prayers a request for help to strengthen my marriage. (No, there was nothing wrong, I just didn't want to wait until Willie is weaned to date!) I really like Fireproof because of some of the ideas in it on how to strengthen marriage- Do something for your partner, check in with them in the day, study them, put them first. Wherever we put our time, energy, and money is what we love best. I'm so grateful to be able to put mine in my family, and so grateful that Jeff does the same. Last night we hired a sitter for Abby and Harvey and took Willie with us to dinner. We think we should be able to afford a sitter once a month or so, and then do things at least weekly at home after they are in bed. At least once a week, the kids will go to bed a little early and we will do things without them. We love doing things with them as well. But at least weekly we need to take time for each other. I've heard too many stories of people coexisting and working together, but when the kids are gone and retirement comes they don't know each other. So I have made it a personaly commitment- and anyone who would like to join me please do- to grow old TOGETHER. Not separately in the same sphere of existance but together. I know this post is very rambly and not well composed, I apologize. It was just in my mind. I need to come do another post on an update about the family- and Harvey's birthday! Which I will.
2.13.2009
Sugar cookie palooza
2.06.2009
25 Random Things
1- I really wish I knew why Willie slept through the night that once. I'd be glad to duplicate the circumstances again.
2- I have no idea how to take a compliment. I'm not into the false modesty while fishing for praise thing. So I am usually silent about it or just say thankyou. That feels insufficient but returning a compliment also feels kind of phoney- like I only thought of it because you gave me one.
3- That reminds me, when Jeff asked me out on our first date I had to check with my friends to make sure that I had really just been asked out and was not hallucinating. This was after I'd accepted and he walked away- not right in front of him!
4- I do a number thing too. For years, I would look at a digital clock and create a math equation out of it. I have trained myself now to not do it.
5- My feet are cold
6-I'm a hoarder of sorts. I've saved so many things from my earlier stages of life- not all of it mine. Yet, I seem to find use for them eventually after all. Especially all the baby clothes my mom was going to throw out. Oh, and my old barbies and dress ups have found a good home with Abby now.
7- For all my wanting to be a mom all of my life, it is a lot harder than I expected. My greatest ambition now is to truly earn the title of 'mother'. The one that you can hear the general authorities calling us by. I hope I can live up to it.
8- Someday I AM going to have a Jeep type vehicle so I can go driving off road to wherever I want in the middle of nowhere. What Jeff doesn't know is that he is going to have to let me drive it too!!
9- Oh didn't you know that was our personal magnet? His 'test' date was to take a girl off roading and see how she reacted. He scared off quite a few that way. Then there was me, all my personal reservation was just a front for people I don't know enough to trust with my real self. My dream car was the yellow Jeep a seminary teacher had. So when Jeff suddenly turned off the road and went over a hill behind the elementary to take me home, not only was I not scared- I was thrilled to pieces! Poor truck went the way of sensibility, but we will get another one some day.
10- Book worm. My favorite thing about being a Stewart is no one thinks twice about the fact that I may have my nose stuck in a book. So taking time in a quiet room to put the baby to sleep doesn't bother me at all personally, if I have a book. However, I may end up neglecting the other people in my life- so it is sometimes a problem.
11- I have a birth mark on the back of my right leg. I recently learned I inherited it from my Grandmother Langford
12-My 3 deliveries have all been differently approached. 1st was a c section, 2nd was a long drug induced epidural relieved delivery, 3rd was au naturel in the hospital. My sister and I joked that eventually I'll go give birth in the woods all by myself.
13- Fall is my very favorite season of the year, but I look forward to the turn of every season, especially winter to spring.
14- Jeff, the kids, and I all have hazel eyes. Willies are turning now.
15-Nursing while at keyboard is my excuse for all the time I spend on the computer.
16-Some days, I really miss being a kid. I'd really like to go spend time with my girlfriends and have nothing to worry about. Drink soda through pixie sticks, stay up late enough that everything is funny, then sleep til 2 the next day. Most of the time however, I'm happy being all grown up.
17- I keep forgetting what I was going to write next
18- Yes, I have lost weight. I weighed about 50 pounds more than this 2 years ago. I never thought we could afford for me to use a program like weight watchers, and thought I was doing ok on my own. No scale to say so. Then I applied for life insurance and my rates were much higher than they would have been if I hadn't been so heavy. Since being obese turned out to actually cost my family money I decided it was definitely time to do something. Feeling much better now. In fact I am officially 'overweight' instead of obese now, I think last time I weighed this much I was a teenager.
19-I really do love the ring sling I wear Willie in. I even love the comments we get about it. From 'I keep forgetting if you've had the baby' to 'what a cute little head!' I['m going to attempt t o make one for my friend and if it turns out, guess what all baby shower invitations will result in from now on??
20- I don't do well with noise. I don't mind background noise- as long as it is truly in the background, so I have to stop and listen to hear what it is. So I really hate that the sound system in movies has changed. I like the description that Heaven is all Silence or Music, so NOISE is a tool used to distract us from getting there. So sometimes, I just have to get rid of the noise- no radio, send the kids outside or whatever it is at the moment.
21- There is nowhere else in the world I'd rather be than with the Stewart Family- the whole big lot of us, or as many as can be there. Except perhaps for the times we need to be our own little family. Never at any other time, any other place, any other group of people is unconditional love felt so simply and completely. Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, babies, grandparents. I can't put it into words really, it just is.
22- I really do love the Gospel. Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is such a blessing. I am grateful for the fulness of the gospel available to me and the peace it brings, I couldn't get through without it.
23- I really admire and respect self sufficiency and home making. Homeschooling, cloth diapering, scratch cooking, gardening, full year supply, all of it. I'm working on my own storage and learning to garden. It's not easy in this soil, but I'm trying. Homeschooling and cloth diapering are just not realistic for me, but I still really respect those who do.
24- I do make our own bread, and while I'm my own worst critic and wish I had a more full proof way to get it raise just right, mostly it is really darn good. Especially with fresh ground wheat.
25-I love singing with my kids. I've finally managed to convince Abby that it is fun and good to sing and/or hear mommy sing. We don't have to just listen to the music, we can sing too. This morning Harvey even made up his own song- it went 'Abby and Harvey, Abby and Harvey' over and over. lol
2.01.2009
What's with the new pic??
12.28.2008
Christmas
I also made the kids some dress ups. But I don't think I have pictures of them yet! I made Abby 2 tutus, we also gave her a new/used dress up dress. One that my Aunt Francy made for me when I was little. And Harvey got 2 super-capes, and a fireman hat. The gifts they gave each other were also big hits. Harvey picked out some dress-up make up for Abby. Abby gave Willie what I told her to- a little toy set of soft rattly animals, they all make different noises and have different textures. And Harvey got from Willie a knight dress up set. With a shield, breastplate and sword. He LOVES it.
Oh and what did Willi get for Christmas? A vibrating teether and a teddy bear. Yes, that is all.
10.27.2008
Pictures of Willard
So I started getting it out when he was asleep. Everytime I look at my sleeping kids I think of a line from one of the Anne books. Anne has gone back to her birthplace and gotten her hands on some of her parents things. Her mother writes in a letter (or journal) describing her baby (being Anne) 'I love her best when she is sleeping and even better when she is awake'. The 2nd one is his 2 month picture. He weighed in at 12 lbs 1 oz the day before.
So after we got out the swing and I bought new batteries for it- yesterdayI finally caught one- A GRIN!!
Now isn't he just the cutest? I have a pictures somewhere of Abby doing the very same thing. She was also cute. (still is, lol)


