Parenting Perceptions

Parenting is the most important responsibility available to us in this life. To raise our little ones and teach them all they need to know. To discipline appropriately, provide support and love. To feed, clothe, bathe, teach. There are so many different aspects to it, they simply cannot all be listed. Suffice it to be said that this parenting thing consumes my days, my nights, my thoughts, my heart.

For the last 5 years and 8 months the well being of my child(ren) has been the number one concern in my life. From the moment I checked into the hospital to have Abby, it is something I always worry about. What can I do for them? What if I'm doing it wrong? Am I too harsh? Too lax? How do I teach them? Really it's just one great big huge question mark riddled with a lot of underlying doubt about my abilities. Ultimately, this is a good thing. Parenting really does require, above all else, humility. Humility to know that I don't know the answers and that I must rely on Heavenly Father in order to parent these little ones. With His help, and the examples of good mothers around me, I feel like I'm doing fine. I know that I need to give my children love first and foremost. But it doesn't take much to change my perceptions again. With one single comment I can end up doubting my abilities entirely.

"You train your kids to be clingy." "I'd send her straight to timeout." "Your kids are really picky eaters and you cater to it." Comments like these trap me emotionally- just like a deer in headlights. I can't help but wonder "What am I missing? Really what MORE do you expect?!?" I have put a lot of energy into doing what's best for my kids, and somehow it's all wrong? In short order I feel quite defensive and ready to fight it out about my parenting style. I haven't yet, but I kind of wanted to all the same. Of course, the logical part of me knows that my defensiveness is a red flag in and of itself. What am I so defensive about exactly? Maybe there is something to those comments? Then again, maybe it's just because of people they come from. When someone close and with lots of history has a criticism for me, I take it personally. My perception becomes completely skewed. My imagination runs wild with the thought of previously loving eyes turned into critical ones. I am absolutely convinced (for a while) that my every move is being observed an criticized. Nothing is less helpful when dealing with drama from children than worrying what other people think.

What other people think. How it skews our perceptions. I know in my heart and mind that I shouldn't let what other people think change my perception so much. Especially my self perception. And yet it does. Fortunately, there are the other things too. An Aunt who sent me an email telling me I'm a good mom. Friends who are willing to confess to their personal parenting trials and let me know that I'll get through this too. I really appreciate those, more than I can ever share in words. I hope I can pay it forward and help those around me keep their perspective. Because really we are all doing just fine.

Worth A Thousand Words

Sunday, just before dinner- We'd had a busy week.

There really is nothing sweeter than sleeping children.

What Abby sees...

through the lens of our camera. And what happens when she enlists Harvey's help. So I let Abby use our camera for a little bit, a few of them Harvey took, but Abby was definitely deciding what he should take.

Our Camping Trip

Well now that I have 2 comments on this post already- I'll actually take a minute and tell all about our camping trip! My original plan for the 4th was to stay in town and enjoy the festivities but when Jeff said he'd like to take advantage of the 3 day weekend and go camping, that sounded better. Then the weather started looking ominous, but we decided to brave it anyways. We went to Panguitch Lake and stay in the South Campground. It was really nice. It was our first time in the area and it is so very pretty we are looking forward to going again. So, the run down...

Abby and Harvey had fun collecting pine cones, rocks, and a few wildflowers. They dug in the dirt, climbed on rocks, and played with Polly. Polly had a great time getting herself tied up with the long line we brought for her. Willie was not so sure about the whole thing. He likes to be able to explore but a crawler in the dirt- not so much. He got really mad at first every time I put him in the play pen so my arms could have a break. But eventually he got used to it and we all were able to kick back and enjoy. We got there Friday by lunch time and got the tent up, had lunch, and then proceeded to set up our big screened canopy- after all rain was in the forecast. Jeepers, in the past we've had all the Pectol men to get that thing set up, this time it was just us, so we tried to enlist Abby and Harvey's help. Abby did great with most of it, but Harvey had a hard time figuring out how to move with us. But eventually we got it up and moved it over the picnic table. Saturday we went to Panguitch and enjoyed some indoor Kiddie games during a rain/hail storm. We went to Brian Head for fireworks that night and were able to attend Sacrament meeting at the little chapel Sunday morning. I forgot to pack a skirt for myself and Abby but we saved our nicest clothes, scrubbed everyone clean and went in jeans. It was a really good experience. It was nice to know that I can feel the spirit and reverence just by preparing my best, whatever that may be. It also helped to see others doing the same, but next time I'll try to remember a skirt. The pictures loaded backwards (one day I'll remember to put them in the other way) so I'll just explain our highlights in reverse I guess.

The kids and I in the lake. The original plan was to just let them get their feet wet since it was Sunday before we made it to the lake (rain) but after Harvey fell in and got all wet I just went with the suits. They'd been looking forward to the lake all week and really enjoyed it. I did too- the water was great. Jeff wasn't interested and Willie was asleep.

Jeff and Harvey watching fireworks while Harvey works on the BRAT diet. Yep, he needed it. Sorry about the finger- it was dark outside!

Abby's unicorn. She got her face painted in Panguitch and was so thrilled with the unicorn, I promised to take a picture before it all washed off.

Willie and I during our wienie roast. He has such a good smile and is so fun to hug.

Jeff, Abby, and Harvey during the roast on Saturday. It's smokey, but was the best shot to see all 3 and Harvey's marshmallow goo.

On our way for our first hike/walk. My hat looked like a good idea. But it kept flopping in my face and didn't last. My kids are sure super cute though!

Abby and Harvey Friday afternoon. Harvey was cranky and wanted to test his sleeping bag. It was cute, but no it didn't actually result in a nap.

Willie napped though! Waiting while Mommy helped Daddy set up camp was an exhausting job for a little guy I guess.

When life slows down-

There isn't much to blog about. My friend Tia had her baby in February- he's over 4 months old now and I wanted to go see him and help her out when he was brand new. But since he's been around my fmaily has either been sick, busy, and/or in recovery from the madness. But this last Friday I actually had a chance and Ic alled her up to see if we could come for a visit. She was planning on going over to the park for a music fest and said we could meet them there. It was great. I took the kids and the dog, we went to the park and enjoyed the extrememly pleasant weather. We even enjoyed some of the music. Our kids got to wrestling- knock down drag out, chase each other and tackle wrestling- which was kind of funny because usually Abby whines 'I don't like to play rough' when other kids are playing. We came home and got the kids some dinner and to bed then Jeff went and picked up a redbox movie for date night. We got Faith Like Potatoes because I thought it sounded good and had an A rating. I really really don't recommend it for entertainment. I like faith inspiring stories, but this movie never got me to connect with the primary characters at all. And then it didn't really seem like a story of hidden faith growing as it was a story of sharing faith- It was very much the kind of movie you will find in the Church Library except it was an Evangelical ministry movie. We stayed up til 12:30 because it got started late, and it really wasn't worth the missed sleep. At least it was only a dollar. As soon as I'm done posting this we are going to head out for a family drive to find a good camping spot for this weekend. Hurray for a 3 day weekend!! Hurray for camping!

Last night Jeff put Harvey in a shirt my sister made last year that says "Small Fry" on it. Harvey asked what it said, then informed Jeff that he wasn't the small fry any more- Willie is the small fry now and Harvey is the "Big Fry" Kids really do grow to fast.

Sweet Baby Boy

Willie is 10 months old now, plus a week. I started a post when he had turned 9 months to announce his crawling, and never finished it. I did post about the puppy, right? Well apparently the puppy motivated Willie to start moving around too. For most of my readers this is not news- you've all seen him at it since then! It has made him a much more content baby because being set down on the floor is now an opportunity for adventure rather than a sure sign of abandonment. Right now Willie is just full of life and character. He loves his mommy, hates his bed. He has an incredibly expressive little face, and is just funny to watch. (He was pretty thrilled with himself when he was up and wide awake with everyone else before 6 am, thought that was great fun. I disagree.) He is starting to stand without support for a few seconds, and cruising will come very soon I just feel it. My sweet little baby boy is growing up way too fast, so I'm trying to enjoy it while it lasts.

what weve been up to

I finally uploaded the pics from my camera and was reminded of how things have been around here lately, or recently, or not so much. All of these pictures were taken in the months of April and May.

This is Harvey after he got into some yummy smelling lotion that was on the floor. His explanation? " Look Mom I'm a pancake with SYRUP!! (hahaha giggle giggle)"

The kids set themselves up a lovely little tea party- complete with center piece- right after we brought in the kid table I inherited from my parents. If only it were still that clean

Just before Easter Willie broke out in hives. Scared the bejeepers out of me. It was most likely a reaction to the lobelia drops I had used the night before to help his earache. And of course, being a holiday weekend the Doctors office was closed so we went to Instacare.

Another Harvey episode. He actually did this the day before the lotion. Yes, that is GLITTER all over the kids room. Their messy room, and thus the toys. But it did motivate us to clean up. Alas, it never does stay that way.

Will update more later on the other happennings since the arrival of our dog, and maybe even on surviving the weddings of our younger sisters with 3 kids in tow. Either that or I will just block it from my memory permanently.