Goblins and Guardians

There is a goblin following me around, I'm absolutely sure of it. He likes to take things I will need and move them. As far as I can tell he doesn't just hide them, he moves them to another dimension. How else can the loss of the memory card for our camera be explained?? Friday I used the last of the juice in my camera batteries to get a few shots of Willie on his birthday. Then I sat down at the computer, plugged the memory card into the flash drive, and waited for the download window to pop up. My intention was to blog about my baby and this big milestone. Well, I was surfing the net while waiting (sometimes my computer is incredibly slow) Willie was crawling around, Polly was around, all the kids were in the living room and went nowhere at all. I looked back down at the computer to see if the card was in right, because it still hadn't started to load. It was GONE. Poof, vanished. As I said nobody had gone anywhere, but Willie had been down there, so we started to search the living room. Nope it's gone. LONG gone. Not a trace. It is possible that the dog ate it, but I don't think she could just swallow it whole and there are no pieces to be found, neither have I found any evidence of it passing. So we have a goblin, definitely a goblin. He has also taken the battery charger for the camera (last of the juice used up remember?), and Harvey's floaty vest. Which brings us to the guardian.

Last night we had a swim party with Jeff's company. I had kept the kids floaty suits on top of the laundry sorter, and went to get them into the bag. Abby's was there, Harvey's was not. We spent 20 minutes looking in all the places we could think of for that floaty vest. When Harvey is wearing that suit and in a floaty ring, he has a lot of fun just leaping into the water and playing. I felt horrible when we couldn't find it for him. But off we went, nothing to be done. Later Jeff was helping Abby in the restroom, and I was watching Willie on the deck. Harvey was wearing his water wings in the pool. The pool we were at has a large ledge that creates a kiddie depth at one end, with a drop off into water 3-4 feet deep. There were quite a few people in the water, including adults, and some giant inner tubes. Earlier this summer I had read an article about pool dangers. It pointed out that small children do not splash or yell, and most accidents happen when a parent assumes that one of the other adults close enough is keeping watch. When you are swimming with 3 small children and 2 adults there is the chance that one will be unsupervised for a while. I remembered the article at that moment, and looked up to see the inner tubes crowding Harvey on the ledge some bigger kids were pushing them around, and it looked like he might just get pushed off the edge. Yep, pretty sure he's off the edge. I stand up and drop my stuff, to go ask someone to push him back. His water wings were holding him up OK, but he was floundering, then just as I got to the edge of the pool, down his head goes. There was an adult 2 feet away from him, but no, they weren't looking. I jumped right, in grabbed him up, and held him tight. He was sputtering and scared, but otherwise fine. We got out and dried off, he ate a few chips, then got back in when Daddy was back. I am so very grateful for the guardian that whispered into my head that article. I don't know how bad it would have been if not, but everything is fine now so it doesn't matter really. The goblin can take my stuff. I can replace it. I'd really like to find the card so I can have those pictures, but I have what matters- my kids.

Girly Day

Or that's what Abby likes to call it. Friday afternoon Jeff's brother called and said there was some emergency work to be done on family property, and could he borrow our car so he could go get it done? We have asked them to borrow our car if they need it, as they are currently a one car, 2 job, live next to nowhere family. So we said of course. Saturday morning Jeff asked if he could be of any assistance, and decided to go help too. That is when Harvey started begging to go. So it worked out that Jeff took Harvey and the dog with him and Abby and I had the day to ourselves- baby in tow.

She rode her bike over to the playground while I helped get Harvey ready to go, then Willie and I went to meet her. It's hard to believe I have a child old enough to ride a bike and go somewhere without me, but she is basically there. After we played on the playground we came home and cleaned up the garage while Willie napped, so we could park the van in it again. Abby was a great help, sweeping and picking up garbage for me, while I hung up bikes and lifted things to shelves. It wasn't a hard job, but it was one of those things that was very nice to get done. Abby had done a lot of listening to stories to earn reading minutes, and her prize was a Happy Meal certificate. I got a certificate for a premium salad for doing the reading. So off we went to McD's for lunch. The last time we went to a play place it was no fun at all and the kids kept getting stuck. But apparently they've upgraded- adding in Foosball, air hockey, and basketball. That's in addition to the traditional tunnel maze, which Abby really loved. Her favorite thing is to play in the tunnel slides on the school playground. Next on the agenda was dropping off stuff in the back of the car- recycling and a stroller for DI. The recycling center seems to have shut down. The gates are closed, very frustrating. We went over to DI to drop off a too bulky single stroller, and found a nice compact one for just 3 dollars. Then we went inside and found that they were having a clearance sale- several racks were just one dollar. I was able to buy Abby quite a bit of fun clothes so now she has some that will work for school. Not new, but that is actually a good thing, I think. I was also able to get some onesies for Willie, and some tshirts for me. Best thing though was I ran into a friend from St George at my Cedar City DI. We came home, had a fashion show, and kicked back to relax. All in all it was a busy but good day.

*****

Ok so now that I've bored you to tears with the play by play of our Girly Day, I'm going to just make this longer and say how grateful I am. Abby is my personal challenge. She's very dramatic, and precocious, and I am not sure what to do with her most of the time. I usually find myself expecting her to behave much more grown up than her actual age, or treating her like she still is incapable of doing anything. Maybe it is because she's the oldest, and I'm still figuring this out?? At least partly. I have tried in the past to take time with just her, but have struggled with enjoying what she wants to do. Yesterday was a good mix. I found myself really enjoying watching Abby playing on the play ground and the Playplace. I didn't have any of my sort of thing to do, just hold the baby and watch her. Usually that would drive me batty, but I really was able to enjoy it. I had fun shopping, and while she got a little bit bored, it was mostly about her so she enjoyed it too. Abby and I were really able to just enjoy each other and that one on one time when I didn't have to worry about Harvey or the dog was really very nice. Jeff and Harvey had a good time too. They spent the day chasing cows and mending fences. Harvey occupied himself digging cow-traps, lol. Harvey declared he didn't miss me at all when they got home today- and I didn't miss him much either. Yet it was absolutely wonderful seeing him again. We need to take more opportunities to enjoy our children on a personal level. They are quite different people on their own. I don't know if Harvey will ever be as excited to spend time with me instead of Daddy, or if Abby will get quite as thrilled about a Daddy Date as she does Girly Time. But soon we will do it- split them up and enjoy them, then come back together as a family appreciating each other even more.

Parenting Perceptions

Parenting is the most important responsibility available to us in this life. To raise our little ones and teach them all they need to know. To discipline appropriately, provide support and love. To feed, clothe, bathe, teach. There are so many different aspects to it, they simply cannot all be listed. Suffice it to be said that this parenting thing consumes my days, my nights, my thoughts, my heart.

For the last 5 years and 8 months the well being of my child(ren) has been the number one concern in my life. From the moment I checked into the hospital to have Abby, it is something I always worry about. What can I do for them? What if I'm doing it wrong? Am I too harsh? Too lax? How do I teach them? Really it's just one great big huge question mark riddled with a lot of underlying doubt about my abilities. Ultimately, this is a good thing. Parenting really does require, above all else, humility. Humility to know that I don't know the answers and that I must rely on Heavenly Father in order to parent these little ones. With His help, and the examples of good mothers around me, I feel like I'm doing fine. I know that I need to give my children love first and foremost. But it doesn't take much to change my perceptions again. With one single comment I can end up doubting my abilities entirely.

"You train your kids to be clingy." "I'd send her straight to timeout." "Your kids are really picky eaters and you cater to it." Comments like these trap me emotionally- just like a deer in headlights. I can't help but wonder "What am I missing? Really what MORE do you expect?!?" I have put a lot of energy into doing what's best for my kids, and somehow it's all wrong? In short order I feel quite defensive and ready to fight it out about my parenting style. I haven't yet, but I kind of wanted to all the same. Of course, the logical part of me knows that my defensiveness is a red flag in and of itself. What am I so defensive about exactly? Maybe there is something to those comments? Then again, maybe it's just because of people they come from. When someone close and with lots of history has a criticism for me, I take it personally. My perception becomes completely skewed. My imagination runs wild with the thought of previously loving eyes turned into critical ones. I am absolutely convinced (for a while) that my every move is being observed an criticized. Nothing is less helpful when dealing with drama from children than worrying what other people think.

What other people think. How it skews our perceptions. I know in my heart and mind that I shouldn't let what other people think change my perception so much. Especially my self perception. And yet it does. Fortunately, there are the other things too. An Aunt who sent me an email telling me I'm a good mom. Friends who are willing to confess to their personal parenting trials and let me know that I'll get through this too. I really appreciate those, more than I can ever share in words. I hope I can pay it forward and help those around me keep their perspective. Because really we are all doing just fine.

Worth A Thousand Words

Sunday, just before dinner- We'd had a busy week.

There really is nothing sweeter than sleeping children.

What Abby sees...

through the lens of our camera. And what happens when she enlists Harvey's help. So I let Abby use our camera for a little bit, a few of them Harvey took, but Abby was definitely deciding what he should take.

Our Camping Trip

Well now that I have 2 comments on this post already- I'll actually take a minute and tell all about our camping trip! My original plan for the 4th was to stay in town and enjoy the festivities but when Jeff said he'd like to take advantage of the 3 day weekend and go camping, that sounded better. Then the weather started looking ominous, but we decided to brave it anyways. We went to Panguitch Lake and stay in the South Campground. It was really nice. It was our first time in the area and it is so very pretty we are looking forward to going again. So, the run down...

Abby and Harvey had fun collecting pine cones, rocks, and a few wildflowers. They dug in the dirt, climbed on rocks, and played with Polly. Polly had a great time getting herself tied up with the long line we brought for her. Willie was not so sure about the whole thing. He likes to be able to explore but a crawler in the dirt- not so much. He got really mad at first every time I put him in the play pen so my arms could have a break. But eventually he got used to it and we all were able to kick back and enjoy. We got there Friday by lunch time and got the tent up, had lunch, and then proceeded to set up our big screened canopy- after all rain was in the forecast. Jeepers, in the past we've had all the Pectol men to get that thing set up, this time it was just us, so we tried to enlist Abby and Harvey's help. Abby did great with most of it, but Harvey had a hard time figuring out how to move with us. But eventually we got it up and moved it over the picnic table. Saturday we went to Panguitch and enjoyed some indoor Kiddie games during a rain/hail storm. We went to Brian Head for fireworks that night and were able to attend Sacrament meeting at the little chapel Sunday morning. I forgot to pack a skirt for myself and Abby but we saved our nicest clothes, scrubbed everyone clean and went in jeans. It was a really good experience. It was nice to know that I can feel the spirit and reverence just by preparing my best, whatever that may be. It also helped to see others doing the same, but next time I'll try to remember a skirt. The pictures loaded backwards (one day I'll remember to put them in the other way) so I'll just explain our highlights in reverse I guess.

The kids and I in the lake. The original plan was to just let them get their feet wet since it was Sunday before we made it to the lake (rain) but after Harvey fell in and got all wet I just went with the suits. They'd been looking forward to the lake all week and really enjoyed it. I did too- the water was great. Jeff wasn't interested and Willie was asleep.

Jeff and Harvey watching fireworks while Harvey works on the BRAT diet. Yep, he needed it. Sorry about the finger- it was dark outside!

Abby's unicorn. She got her face painted in Panguitch and was so thrilled with the unicorn, I promised to take a picture before it all washed off.

Willie and I during our wienie roast. He has such a good smile and is so fun to hug.

Jeff, Abby, and Harvey during the roast on Saturday. It's smokey, but was the best shot to see all 3 and Harvey's marshmallow goo.

On our way for our first hike/walk. My hat looked like a good idea. But it kept flopping in my face and didn't last. My kids are sure super cute though!

Abby and Harvey Friday afternoon. Harvey was cranky and wanted to test his sleeping bag. It was cute, but no it didn't actually result in a nap.

Willie napped though! Waiting while Mommy helped Daddy set up camp was an exhausting job for a little guy I guess.

When life slows down-

There isn't much to blog about. My friend Tia had her baby in February- he's over 4 months old now and I wanted to go see him and help her out when he was brand new. But since he's been around my fmaily has either been sick, busy, and/or in recovery from the madness. But this last Friday I actually had a chance and Ic alled her up to see if we could come for a visit. She was planning on going over to the park for a music fest and said we could meet them there. It was great. I took the kids and the dog, we went to the park and enjoyed the extrememly pleasant weather. We even enjoyed some of the music. Our kids got to wrestling- knock down drag out, chase each other and tackle wrestling- which was kind of funny because usually Abby whines 'I don't like to play rough' when other kids are playing. We came home and got the kids some dinner and to bed then Jeff went and picked up a redbox movie for date night. We got Faith Like Potatoes because I thought it sounded good and had an A rating. I really really don't recommend it for entertainment. I like faith inspiring stories, but this movie never got me to connect with the primary characters at all. And then it didn't really seem like a story of hidden faith growing as it was a story of sharing faith- It was very much the kind of movie you will find in the Church Library except it was an Evangelical ministry movie. We stayed up til 12:30 because it got started late, and it really wasn't worth the missed sleep. At least it was only a dollar. As soon as I'm done posting this we are going to head out for a family drive to find a good camping spot for this weekend. Hurray for a 3 day weekend!! Hurray for camping!

Last night Jeff put Harvey in a shirt my sister made last year that says "Small Fry" on it. Harvey asked what it said, then informed Jeff that he wasn't the small fry any more- Willie is the small fry now and Harvey is the "Big Fry" Kids really do grow to fast.